Paus: Swedish for playing hooky.

Paus (pronounced pows) is the Swedish word for "on a break", "timeout", or quite obviously "pause". (It's just way more fun to say in a Swedish accent though right?)

Today I played hooky.  Yup.  After a season of repeatedly over-booking myself, over-committing my time and stretching my balance to within an inch of it's life I finally decided to press 'paus'.  And while yes, yoga does teach one balance - it is a practice. Imagine that if we could all just do enough vrikshasana (tree pose), our life balance would just sort itself out?!  Balance is a choice and I choose balance.   The balance pendulum continues to swing back and forth back and forth like tree's blowing in the wind. 

Now don't get me wrong, I'm in no way out of the ordinary in the hooky department.  As it turns out,  just over half of Canadians (52%) have called in sick to work when in fact they're not actually ill.  Personally I can't believe the stat is so low.  People carry on for most of their lives working 50 out of 52 weeks a year.  Just when two weeks of vacation per year was ever supportive to work/life balance is beyond me. 

With North Americans ringing in with some of the least vacation time and the worst work place productivity globally it's baffling that the Leaders of the Free World haven't clued in to simple work life balance protocol that has been around for centuries.  What ever happened to the simple siesta?  The long lunch?  No wonder more and more peeps are calling in and passing off their groggy morning voices as the flu.

Lucky for moi I work in a forward thinking industry.  Or shall we say backwards thinking?  Yoga philosophy dates back to the vedic ages and the concept of ahimsa so appropriately translates the sanskrit practice of 'non-violence' or 'non-injury'.  This yama (sanskrit word for moral restraint) encompasses the practice of compassion and consideration for all living beings.  Overworking your body both physically or mentally is neglecting to take care and, as such, is a form of misuse. 

Interestingly, my boss renamed our 'sick' days to 'health & wellness' days earlier this year so that they better reflect a supportive and all encompassing personal health approach.  Sometimes we just need to take a day to nurture ourselves and press 'paus'.  In a conventional work environment I would have been in a position to lie about my personal health in order to 'chuck a sicky'.  Instead the space was created for me to be totally honest about feeling that I just needed to take an extra day for my personal well being.  (Which in turn fascilitates my practice of satya, the sanskrit word for truthfulness.) 

Preconditioned feelings of guilt and not-enough-ness bubbled up as I confessed I needed to take the day.  Magically these disappeared almost as quickly as they surfaced when my request was smothered with my boss' blessings.  And so I went about my day.  Meditation.  Skype date with mom and sister.  Retail therapy.  Baking.  Blogging.  Nurturing.  Relaxing.  Not worrying.  Enjoying.  Reconnecting with Balance.  Refilling the tank.  Being Present.




Press 'paus' and visit www.vibeyoga.ca

Fear's annoying little sister...

Doubt and fear.  Fear and doubt.  Oh how these two little doozies just keep rearing their ugly heads at me this week.  Especially big "Dizzy-D".  Doubt.  It seems Big D just keeps bullying her way into all facets of my life.  (Note the lack of personal responsibility here.)  I doubt my ability to teach a good class...  I worry about what my students think...  I doubt that they like me...  I doubt that I'm worthy to teach...  I doubt I'm good enough...  Ahhh - you've heard that one before. Those two, infamous words that so many of us hold so close to our hearts that we might as well just get them tattooed there.  We surrender so much of the Power of Living our Best Lives to the toxicity of Doubt.  Yup - self sabotage at it's finest.  I know I'm not alone in this one - we really are our worst enemies aren't we?

But where does Doubt come from? Why did we invite her in?  She's like your best friends annoying little sister who was 2 years younger than you. Remember her?  Remember how you just didn't want to play with her but your mom told you to 'play nice' so you kept her around but instead (sneakily) changed the rules so that instead of playing with her, you would constantly be running away from her?  Isn't that essentially what we're still doing though - running away from 'her'?  And where is that getting us other then to feed that belt of anxiety we sport like a life preserver around our solar plexus?  Oh sigh - to think that we could be Free.

Let's stand in possibility for a moment.  What if... you heeded your mothers advice (for once.)  What if you made friends with your best friends annoying little sister?  (I know - I can hear the whiny "But Mommmm" hanging in the air now.)  What if instead of running away from Doubt we befriended her?  What if she's just like us?  Full of hopes and fears and annoying little sibblings of her own?  Is it possible that instead of covering Doubt with mantras of:  "I think I can.  I like myself.  I am good enough." we harnessed her power on our side.  As our friend.  So instead of working against us, she worked with us.  As part of us.  Enabling us to be more authentic.  More real.  More ME.  Not to give into her, but to befriend her.

And that's really how you make friends and get people to like us anyways isn't it?  The vulnerability of being authentic.

"The greatest fear in the world is of the opinions of others.  And the moment you are unafraid of the crowd you are no longer a sheep, you become a lion.  A great roar arises in your heart, the roar of freedom"  -Osho 'Courage The Joy of Living Dangerously'

a trying 8 days 8 nights.

"Trying" are the days of the modern family.  Or are they?  My in-laws are on the west coast visiting us this week.  After forking over big bucks on flights to get here, to save on dough, they're shackin' up with us in our teeny 1 bedroom apartment for 8 days and 8 nights.  Before you question my judgement let me preface this with the fact that I get on famously with my in-laws.  They're awesome and I really couldn't manifest in-laws more fun or more loving to click with.  (And I'm fully sick at manifesting bru.) While on the surface, I was totally stoked to show them a great time in our new city, deep down I was secretly dreading the whole thing.  Don't get me wrong,  I'm no sissy-pants and am happy to give up my cushy queen sized for the Canadian Tire Special inflata-bed for 8 precious sleeps.  It's just, you know, the close-quarters.. the living on top of one-another like crabs in a bucket.. the no quiet time.  (Sorry Mr. Chopra, our 21 day meditation challenge just became the sacrificial lamb.)

My last night in my own bed leading up to their visit was spent tossing and turning restlessly resulting in an exhausted meltdown the morning of their arrival.  (Insert the visual of a tantrum tossing 32 year old here.)  I was already feeling so tired when all I really wanted to do was be fully gung-ho, fully engaged and fully switched "on" to show them the best time.. you know - for them.  That dangerous Dame Resentment began to trickle in...

After a long day at the office, (it's a yoga studio and I sit on bolsters and type on a laptop rough - I know.), I dragged my feet home repeating sweet sweet revitalizing mantras in my mind (but really not buying into their hippy voodoo bullshit).  But as I stepped through the doorway the strangest thing happened.  Instead of morphing into a fake enthusiastic hostess (the image of a robotic Stepford Wife springs to mind) I was warmly welcomed with hugs and kisses and such loving energy into my own home by my Sangha (yoga word for community) - my Family.

Their love filled me up.  It energized me.  I was excited even elated to see them.  I was instantly washed clean of all my "trying" to be anything other than myself.  How had I forgotten to just be me?  A forgetfulness of ourselves that seems to permeate all facets of our lives - into all our roles.  When else do we become Stepford Wives (or Stepford hubbies.. sisters or brothers for that matter?)  Where in our lives are we trying to be something else, someone else, to change ourselves to fulfill our preconceived expectations of what other people "expect" of us.  (My yoga "teacher voice" suddenly pops into my head.)

When we are surrounded by sangha, by family, by those we love and who love us - all that trying melts away.  It dissolves into the Universe.  Whats left is us.  Pure you.  Naked of all that effort.  All that trying.  And you're loved just for that.  Just.  You.

Such is the importance of the modern family.  The Sangha.  The community.  The support of those who Love us is paramount to us being our authentic selves.  Connect with yours and quit your trying.